Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
