After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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