You really coming over, don't trick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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