you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
a search helicopter?!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
