what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
