How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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