Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
