uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
