Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
