My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
