I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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