He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How naked do you want me to be?
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