u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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