Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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