Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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