Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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