you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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