Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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