Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
