So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
