hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
