I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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