Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
