I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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