I just pynch a tree in the face
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize