God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
