I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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