I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
