Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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