what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The adults are the big ones right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
