We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
