Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
