I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
love makes seman taste better
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
