I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
