We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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