Sponge bath it is.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
