It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize