After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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