So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
