My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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