did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize