This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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