she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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