we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize