I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
