Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
