If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
