just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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