So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
