i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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