Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize