would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm like, not good at living.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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