I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
