I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Vodka?
Forever.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
