Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
