She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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