Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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