no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize