Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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