so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
