We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
